Thursday, August 25, 2011


Many moons ago, I can remember my life having a soundtrack. There was rarely a time when there wasn't music playing, even in school.

When I went to bed, I'd usually have on something quiet, maybe Tchaikovsky or maybe even a tape of some slow jams. When I'd wake up, I'd throw on something upbeat, always something 80s. Usually my 80s CD of choice would be one of the Living in Oblivion compilations. :o) On my way to school, my headphones could be found blasting some Skadaddyz because they were fast and loud. During school, I was at the whims of my teachers, but many of them would have something playing...

After school, it would depend on my mood, I guess. Or just some random music I hadn't heard in a while. CDs that got a lot of play were Chris Isaak, Harry Connick, Jr., my Living in Oblivion collection (yes, I'm a big 80s fan, deal with it). Or I'd just turn on the local classic rock station and turn it up as high as I was allowed to go.

Music is my release. I can't play an instrument to save my life, apart from being able to pick out the beginnings of some tunes on the piano. I tried to learn to play the clarinet once, it sounded like I was killing a goose... and after a month of it, I felt like killing the clarinet. I don't know what I'd been thinking. I like to THINK I can sing, but I know I can't. I do sing along to the radio though, and it used to seem like I knew every song that came on! :o)

Now, my radio is tuned into Kiera's hip-hop/pop station. Some days I can be caught singing along with Lady Gaga or Usher, but I'd rather be listening to some Def Leppard or Aerosmith or Van Halen cranked way loud. If we don't have on her station, it's the country station. Rick & Emmie love country music, and I can tolerate it just fine, but it just doesn't get rockin' enough for me very often. Every once in a while I get to turn on the classic rock station, but it doesn't take long for one of the girls to ask to turn on the TV. And my iPod? Forget about it. It's filled with stuff that will please everyone. Music I like, but not music I love.

Sometimes I crave just being alone, with my radio cranked up real loud and MY music pouring from the speakers. Only when it is so loud, can I drown out the voices in my head telling me that I should be making dinner or someone has homework due or the bills haven't been paid. Only when it is so loud that you can feel the bass traveling through the air, can I finally relax and just exist. No dinner, no homework, no bills, no cuppies.

Just me and my music. That is where I worship, that is when I worship, that is how I worship.

It's been so long.

1 comment:

Suz said...

Amen, sister! I totally know what you mean.